Thursday, February 26, 2009


Every day is a challenge for me. I fear that what I want I will never get back. I need her to back off, to step aside and let us try and figure out if we want to fix our marriage. I love him more then I ever realized. I know he loves me to, just watching him with the kids and they way he is with me shows that. All i need is a chance and with her around .... ugh.... I just don't get how anyone could step into a relationship with a married man. yeah, we might be separated right now but we are still man and wife. we are still married....

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

to her

So I have tried to be nice.... not working. I have tried so hard.... well I'm done being nice. I'm going to put it all out there., ******* ****** is a home wrecking bitch and she needs to back the fuck off. I'm done being nice. I warned you once, you didn't listen. now you need to listen, back off. grow up and get your own life!

Monday, September 29, 2008

my life

So now that things have settled down a bit in my life I have come to realizes some things.
1. I got married way to young.
2. I was ready for motherhood but I doubt that Chris was ready for fatherhood.
3. we didnt spend enough time together as a couple before children came along.
4. I miss my husband and how we were when we were happy and I want that back.

those are the four big things that I have realized. I miss my life as a military wife. I took so much for granted. I dont get to do the things I wanted with Lexie in school. I dont get to volunteer in her classroom like I wanted to. I dont get to sit down and help her with her homework most days. and poor Jacob and Katie. I just dont get to see my babies enough.

so this is my life.
7 am- get off work, go home and sleep
1:30 pm- wake-up and do what housework I can
2:30 pm- pick-up Jake and Katie
3:30 pm- pick-up Alexis
eat dinner and give a bath before 6:45 pm.
7:00 pm drop kids off at parents
7-11 do whatever housework/ homework/errands that need done.
11-7 work

thats my day... long hard and no room for error

Thursday, June 19, 2008


so I get this call from my husband asking me not to post on here.... um what is he smoking? It's called freedom of speech. You would think that with him being military he would know about that.
oh well.

so I got a call from this girl my husband dances with yesterday. Well she had called to try to get us to go to her place for dinner, saying that she called my DH and he said that we already had plans.... Well his dance partner has the same name as me.... I quickly informed her that I was his wife and not his whore of a dance partner and that we were separated so there was not way we were going to be going to dinner. well she was saying that she had been emailing the dance partner thinking she was me.... um I would like to know how she could be confused between a dance partner and a wife..... please answer me that. It just upsets me. and then he called me trying to get info out of me.... ugh. why are men ass holes and why do some women become home wreckers? please tell me this? why do men let this happen? this makes how many times he has done this to me? ugh. stupid cheating speeding husbands.

Sunday, June 1, 2008

men are ass holes

Why? Why are some men ass wholes???? please explain this to me? I just don't get it. how can a man say that he loves you and wants to be with you forever and then all of a sudden you get a message like this?

Kristin.....I love you to...but please understand I love you as a family member.....I hope that maybe one day I will love you as a wife again, but if knowing this you will except my love you in this new found context then I will say it back to you.

It makes me wonder why? why now? I mean I have forgiven him for cheating, for passing on the std (thankfully it was one what is curable) for the thing with his dance partner Danielle, and for messing around in Korea, and now he says this to me. so now I wonder who he is with now. I'm betting on his dance partner now. everything points to it. he is the type that finds the next one and gets rid of the old. I had tears going down my face tonight and I couldn't even see. I don't know what to do anymore. I want to go home but I'm not sure if I'm wanted anymore. maybe I'm just reading into things but at the same time I just don't know anymore. its like he's braking up with me.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

just a vent... nothing personal

you know, there are days when I just don't know how I make it though. today is one of them. when your so called friends start un-inviting you to things.... wtf? on top of my wonderful (not quite) hubby has decided that I'm not good enough to sleep with anymore. One would think that after three months of being gone one would jump at the opportunity to make love to ones wife.. nope not my hubby.... he come home on tuesday and here it is thursday night/friday morning and nothing..... I'm not even sure he has even kissed me.... how sad is this? pretty sad I think. oh and then there is the thing were I found some condoms in his suit case when I was unpacking.... not the brightest one.... on top of everything... I found out that there are people in "swing" scene that have noticed that my wonderful hubby and his not so wonderful dance partner are to close. I for one happen to agree they are way to close..... not that i'm saying anything is going on but he dose have a tendency to fall for his dance partners..... (Danielle.... BITCH) ok.... I'm don't with that. ...... ugh. I'm not a very happy camper right now.......

Tuesday, March 18, 2008


wow I didn't realize its been since OCT! ::hides::
seeing my cousin post on blog spot reminded me I actually have one... LOL

Things have been ok. trying to get over the crazy Christmas crap that went on back home.
my baby girl turned 5 last month. wow... So now I have a 5yr old, a 3 yr old and a 19 month old... am I nuts????!!

on a serious note I think I'm actually gaining weight... not loosing it. I'm not happy.... now I have to figure out a way to fix that problem... guess I have to wait till hubby gets home from school in DC on the 1st. The Gym here I come.... I need this... ugh.

so I have crazy people who live on either side of me. I'm in unit B.. the woman in A has it in for everyone else, I swear! she gets off on threating to call children's services on everyone. She actually did it to the woman in C. I couldn't believe it! ugh.... so now I'm paranoid. grrr . the thing is Ty did NOTHING wrong! her son missed the bus (for a school that is within walking distance from my house!) ugh.

ok, so my best friend here, Brina, has an adorable little boy. he was born with CANCER and the damn NICU people didn't even catch it. it is in his eye and they could have found it it they were doing their job right. she found out when he was about 5 1/2 months old. they had just got re stationed in Alaska. they we days away from getting their house when they were sent to Philli for cemo. I new something was wrong with him and we kept saying over and over but would they listen to us.. nope, they know more then we do... ugh damn military doctors!!!

my other best bug here in VA just fount out her hubby is going to be sent to Korea in August, 3 days before their oldest turns 4. she is just torn up by it. I know exactly what she's going to be going though. .... ugh damn military....

now my long time best friend lives in FL and she just found out she's pregnant with number 3!!! yay!!!!! so it looks like I might be taking a trip to FL in Nov. :) hehehe. exciting :)

well I guess thats all for now. till next time.