I just don't get it. How can things get so horrible? life was pretty good and then he had to go off to Korea.... Jacob was 2 months old and I found some emails... fooling around in Korea... so damn pissed :( and then i got conformation that he had fooled around on me before... before I was pregnant with Katie. that hurt like nothing else. I was crushed. my son, 2 months old and I find all this out. I had 6 months of him not being there to figure things out. I decided I wasn't giving up on a 6 year marriage. we were finally past all this when I found out something... ugh... just a consequence, nothing huge. but it still opened old wounds. :( it made me look at whats going on now and mow my gut is saying that there is someone out there that has a major crush on him. I don't know about how he feels but i know that thats how things start... a crush. i am so scared that my marriage is going to end because he cant keep his pants zipped. I don't want to go to his command but I'm scared I might have to. :(

life

It's been a while.... sorry.
Well there is a bit going on. I wound up going down to Florida to get Alexis. That was OK. I had a few things to take care of. my sister came back with me and stayed for about 2 weeks. during that time Alexis got her ears pierced! lets see... Alexis has to have eye surgery this week. I'm not looking forward to that. Chris is gonna take the day off to stay with the other two while I stay at the hossy. its all out patient.
well it seams like everyone is getting ready to have a baby or just recently found out they are pregnant. or they are ttc. i want another one.... i would love one right now but thinking about it that would be hard on me. Alexis isn't even in school yet. so Chris and I had a nice talk. He said that we could have one more when Katie starts kindergarten! I am excited about that. I didn't think he would agree... but he did. :) so now i just need to start a baby fund. I want this time to be right. I want to be able to decorate a nursery. I also want to be able to get anything I want for the baby. clothes, bouncer, swing etc. I also want to be able to have pro belly pics taken. there is just so much i want to be able to do for the last one.

MY BIG GIRL

first thing... I woke up the other day to find the hampster had died....

warning... this is about potty training!

I had Chris pick up a potty for Katie Bug the other night. My thoughts were that with Alexis gone for a few weeks we could hopfully get potty training going. I was just hoping she would have some intrest in it. Well the next morning when she woke up I showed it to her. She got all excited. i told her if she went pee pee on it that daddy would bring her a surprise! she got all excited and took her diaper off. she was done with it. she asked me for panties. we went upstairs and got them. we played for a bit and watched a movie. When I put Jacob down for a nap we both naped on the couch. when we woke up I thought she was going upstairs but she didnt. next thing I know she is coming up saying mommy theres pee pee in there!! and she pointed to the bathroom. sure enough there was. I am so proud of her. she has gone in it all day and just a bit ago she went poop 2!!! I am soo proud!

oh man!

So last night I was talking to one of my best friends and realized I that my lil friend should show up soon, or should already be here.. its actuallt frusrating that its not here. we are using protection....but you know how that gose... dosnt always work.so last night i went and got a test.. neg.. but my mind will not be at ease untill i do start. ugh... to make matters wrose, my friend Katie called today and told me she was pregnant. I told her, don't jinx me! she had just found out she was pregnant with her son 2 weeks before i found out I was pregnant with Jacob... ugh LOL.... lalalala

so sad

I feel absolutly horrible. I went to get Ara, our hampster out of her cage and found our she has wet tail. wet tail is usually deadly. they say is is stress related and if that is the case then I think it happend when my dad and i changed her cage and she met Ruby for the first time when she was in her ball. usually i put ruby in the kitchen when she is in the ball. there is nothing I can do at this point. I know i did not catch it in time to take her in and try to get her better. she already has mucus on one eye. she most likley will be dead by morning. I just don't know what to do. when she does die i'm probably going to get rid of her cage and if we get another hampster then i'll get another cage. I don't need another one die because of contamination. i just don't know what to do or how to tell the girls.

my birthday...

Well yesterday was my birthday and it was actually really nice. one of the nicest ones I have had in a long time. Usually my birthday is just another day but yesterday my BF here in VA took me to lunch and then she made me an awesome chocolate cake and had one of our other friends and her kids come over and they sang and had candles. it was really nice. then we watched the funniest movie ever, Norbert. my hunny had to work so we are going to celebrate this weekend. it was just a nice day.the only sad part was that my oldest lil girl left to go to Florida with my parents for a few weeks. I already miss her so much.

my poor lil man :-(

my poor lil man. I took him to the urgent care at Langley and they told me that the thing on his arm was an allergic reaction!!! well it grew over night. doubling in size! so back to the UC we went. this time we went to Riverside. i was not going back to Langley. well it turns out he has a skin infection called impetigo. so now we have a topical antibiotic and the crappy thing is it is contagious so my dad is coming and he has no immune system because of the liver transplant so he might not even be able to hold my lil man. ugh.. the things we deal with....

my poor lil man

a few days ago I noticed a bite or something on my little mans arm, so I did what I thought would be the best thing. I put neosporin on the spot and covered it with a band aid. that was last night, when I woke up this morning and took off the band aid it looked like it had doubled in size and it was just horrible looking. and it had red bumps all around it. I took him into the Urgent Care center on base and guess what!? he had an allergic reaction to either the neosporine or the band aid. my poor lil man... it makes me so sad...

A blonde moment.............

OK, I have realized that I had a blond moment. we got this new lab top a few weeks ago, and with that i had to get a new Verizon wireless Internet card.So I took the old one in and got one that worked with windows vista... witch I hate BTW! well the old card was just that, a card..no antenna, nothing.. well we were wondering why we kept getting kicked off with the new one when it was meant to be the better one, well.... ready for the blond moment... I DIDN'T realize that the card had an antenna!!!!!!!! when I realized that last night I couldn't believe it... how crazy is this? so I was online for 6 hours last night and did not get kicked off once. usually i get kicked off all the time... what a blond moment! LOL

ok... now I'm very excited!

So today we went down and picked out the new bed. we didn't see a set we liked but we did find a bed. so we only got the bed. we are keeping our old dressers :-) they really are not old, we got then Oct 2005. well we also added two desks and a pull out couch onto everything. sense the girls share a room we turned the 4Th room into an office/ family room. we have a T.V. two computers, a lab top, so we have a office. I am so excited! we are getting everything tomorrow!

why am I so tired?

you know those days were all you want to do is sleep? that's the kind of day I'm having. I don't really know why I've been so tired lately. I just feel like I could sleep all day and all night. my eyes are always heavy. i could close my eyes and go right on to sleep. makes me wonder if I'm coming down with something... I don't know... I feel like my kids are suffering because if it. I have no energy :-(I just don't know why....

So I've Been Thinking....

So I've been thinking.... I love babies and being pregnant and the whole birthing experience. I've only been to one other birth besides mine.. yes it was intense but I still wouldn't change the fact I was there.... so... I've been thinking about becoming a Dula. what is a dula you ask? A Dula is someone who is there for the mother. she caters to the needs of the mother during her labor and delivery. she is NOT a medical professional. she even helps with postpartum if the mother would like. i do want another baby but my son is to young and i need to focus on what i have and I do want to wait 3 or 4 years so I was thinking that becoming a Dula would help with that baby itch... maybe LOL. I've thought about it before but was never in a position were I could become one... now I am not pregnant and may little guy will take a bottle.. I also would love to do what my B/F in Florida has done, she became a lactation consultant... but I am going to take it one day at a time and become a dula first. I hope.... so... the thing is.. during my training I cannot charge.. but I need 2 experiences to get my certificate.. sooo.. if anyone would like a dula (in training) after July let me know. I prob wont be able to start until middle July early august. I hope.... :-) so that's what I have been thinking about.....

our office......

OK so sense we moved here things have been pretty good. I love my house, my kids, my hubby, I just love my life. of corse money is tight, but that's OK. we have a 4 bedroom... the thing is it has felt like only a 3 bedroom. the girls share a room and Jacob has his own. the 4Th bedroom has been pretty much storage. we have this huge closet down stairs that when we moved from TLF we put everything in. so finally, yesterday we cleaned out the closet downstairs and Chris brought all the boxes down and put them in it. so now I just have to go up there and put away all the other boxes that are full of the rest of the kids toys... they have way to many. its pretty crazy how much they have. the sooner I go and clean it up the sooner we can get cable and dsl Internet and a house phone. I was going to clean it last night but then i remembered that I had a paper due... ugh that sucked.I know I didn't due it justice and i could have done better. I thought it was due today. I was going to work on it some last night then the rest today... well now I get to clean the spare room today. oh and our neighbors getting rid of a couch, they left it outside... I'm going to ask them about it. it would be good for the spare room....

Chucky E Cheese and the beach

So last night we went to the girls friends birthday party at Chuck E Cheese. they had sooo much fun. Jacob just hung out with the adults but the girls were playing on the play set almost the entire time. Chris helped them play the games so they could get tickets for prizes. I was so hard to get them to leave but we had to go because Chris had to get ready for work. I wish my camera was charged spent 2 1/2 hours there. it wasn't horribly busy. compared to the one in Brandon Florida... LOL



Well today we went to the beach. my back got BURNED! the kids were fine, I lathed them all up. Jacob was not having any part of the water, guess it was to cold. I would put his feet in and he would start whimpering. poor guy.. LOL maybe later on in the summer he will like it. Alexis was so afraid of the water.she got in at first but then decided she would rather dig a hole. Katie wanted to be in the water but spent most of that time attached to my leg. she went in by herself once... just up to her waist. she wasn't alone, my friends little girl was there helping her but she still fell over and that was it for her without me. I finally got Alexis out there right before we left. i had to pick her up and put her in the water at her waist. once she realized how much fun it was she didn't want to get out. we had a blast :-)

sleep deprived

do you ever have one of thoes days were you just feel sooo tierd but you know you got enough sleep? thats hoe I feel today. my eyes are heavy but i got atleast 8 hours of sleep last night. mybe is has to do with the fact that I didnt get to bed untill 4 am the night before. who knows. so now i'm sitting here with only my little boy home because the girls are spending the night at thier friends house, it's 10:00 and all i want to do is go to bed. so, i'm gonna take a nice shower and probably go to bed. Chris is once again at work... ugh I hate it when he works. i got yelled at for posting about thinking about having another baby. oh well. I was just stating how I think and what I want. I want 1 more, I hope I can convince Chris... we will see.... of corse not untill Jacob is like 3 do I want to even try.

bed... sleep and babies

So, at 9am my bed is finally getting looked at. after just over a year if my bed being broken, the footboard pannels popped because of the stupid TMO people screwing it up on the move from VA to FL. so if they can't fix it, they are gonna replace it. woohoo! lol I mean my son was was concieved on this bed.

so it's 2:30 am and I cant sleep. Chris is working and I'm so not use to it. It was really hard ajusting when Chris left to go off to Korea. I couldn't sleep then and i can't sleep now.

so the other thing is that I have come to the conclusion that I do want one more baby. I didn't think I did but I do. I Talked alittle bit about it to Chris and at first he was completly against it, now i'm not so sure. I hope he comes around. ....

BOYS

Every day is new and different with my son. The girls were never as daring. my lil man, born last August 8th weighing in at 11 pounds 1 ounce. so he started in this world as a lil monster. He started crawling at 5 1/2 months, started pulling up by 6 1/2 months. he is the sweetest lil boy though. But today he about gave me a heart attack. we were upstairs with Chris, he was in bed because he is doing a exercize at work so he is working nights, I had lil man on the bed while I got dreast. well... he decided he was going to try to go over the foot board on my bed head first! i caught him by his shorts! I saved him from hitting the ground head first by a hair! very scary! lil boys are very daring.... my girls never did anything like this. what am i gonna do about him?

shower

So saterday I threw a one of my very best friends a baby shower. It was a verry long day. I had been up sence about 2 the night before making sure the games were all ready. but the end result was awsome. we had so much fun! And one of her friends made cakes and did the cake for me. she did it as the theeme they are using, the rainforest theeme. The whole thing makes me want another baby.

bed

ok, so we got this really nice bedroon suit back in oct. of 2005, well when we moved to Florida for the year Chris was in Korea, the military moved us and well they messed it up.. they broke my foot board. well anyway, I havnt been able to get it fixed.. untill NOW!! woohoo the guy is comming out next thusday to look at it and if he cant fix it they are going to replace it!!!!!!! I am soo excited! it just made my day :-)

lil boys

Ok so today has been ok. my little man has started taking much longer naps! I am so happy about that. he is a much happier baby during the day. it's crazy to think that this time last year I was pregnant with him. I was in Florida near my family while my hubby was in Korea. I hate that he missed his son's birth. what else is crazy it that my 9 1/2 month old is now doing things that my girls took so long on figuring out... crawling by 5 1/2 months, pulling up by 6 1/2 months. even figured out the sippy cup thing at 6 months. its so diffrent having a little boy. I thought my girls were big when they were born.. hahahaha my 8.6 and 8.7 pound baby girls were nothing compard to my little man. he was 11.1 pounds! that still blows my mind.